“Take me to your trees. Take me to your breakfasts, your sunsets, your bad dreams, your shoes, your nouns. Take me to your fingers.”

As long as there is life, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is life.

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Powerless is the word that came to mind this morning.

When I was having to marry Him.
When I was a child.
When He hurt me.
When I was having to go to court to keep custody of my daughter.
When I was forced to have an abortion.
When I worked at *** and was bullied by my bosses.
When I was raped by my son’s donor.
When my mom told me she had cancer.
When my daughter was suicidal.
When dad lashes out.
When my child was so sick as a toddler.
Every single time my mom disowned me or rejected me….
Now especially.

What the Hell is in the Well?

Past childhood abuse has been linked to many many different illnesses in adults, here is a link where Dr. Nadine Burke Harris speaks on these connections at a Ted talk.


The Forest

dark-forest-1081991_960_720As you’re traveling through the forest alone the wind blows up to you. you welcome this company because you feel so alone, exposed in the elements. you’re looking for home, but you can’t find your way. The wind knows your name, knows your intentions and breezily, like the wind does, tries to convince you that you are not alone in this forest.

The wind is with you. This is fine for some time. You continue on.

As time passes you are convincing yourself that you are making progress, that each step is towards something of substance and not away. The wind, nimble and lithe follows you, maybe even goading you along at times until you realize that the wind isn’t with you so much as it’s just near you, you were really alone the whole time.

Each step you took a song, and each song a story and each story a tear drop each tear drop has a heart each heart has a wish. As you turn around to see how far you’ve come you see clearly that each step you took, you were alone and how you will remain alone, lost amongst the trees.



When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep
And dreamed of
Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night she’ll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she’d flygirl

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